Bye Bye Crib

Ever since Lora Kate and I had the scare with her allergic reaction to Xopenox we've have problems with bedtime. Needless to say, it's been quite exhausting. When she was a baby I did Baby Wise and it was very beneficial. I would put her in my bed with me on occassion, like on the weekends, holidays, etc. She wouldn't sleep all night in my bed but just play with me in the mornings after she woke up and I got her out of her crib. HOWEVER, when she got sick I let her sleep with me a good bit and apparently, she got used to that REAL QUICK!!! So forewarning to all of you Mom's...DON'T do it.
For the past week since I got back from CA I've been trying to get her back into a routine of sleeping by herself. Without going into detail let's just say it's been very tough and there have been a lot of sleepless nights. Since she got sick though she will NOT sleep in her crib. It's almost as if she's scared once you put her in it. She screams this terrible, horrid scream that I have never heard my child make. So I haven't forced it. She has a double bed in her room and she has started sleeping in the double bed. Last night I laid down with her and we read books before bedtime. She fell asleep and I lay watching her (which I love to do). It's my peace and tranquility at the end of my day. My eyes wandered over to her crib and I had this wave of sadness. My baby girl is sleeping in a big girl bed. I wasn't prepared for this. Her crib is designed to go from the crib stage to the toddler stage, daybed, twin and double bed. However, looks like we skipped all that and won't be needing the crib anymore. The thought of taking that crib down saddens me. She's not old enough yet but looks like she sure thinks so! God Love Her!
On another note, she can even get down from the bed by herself...and it's a HIGH bed w/o rails (yeah yeah bad mommy). Saturday night around 3:30 am I woke to "Ma-Ma, Ma-Ma". I was laying on my side and opened my eyes. The little munchkin had crawled down from that bed, opened the door to her room, and walked into my room. She was standing at the side of my bed her face DIRECTLY in mine saying Mama Mama. Oh my heart melted. I feel I need to make note here that as used to she got to sleeping in my bed, I too got used to her being there. I really find myself missing her there at night but I know this is better for her and for me. So that night, I really really wanted to pick her up and put her in bed with me but I stood firm and took her back to her bed. She cried about 10 minutes and then slept the rest of the night. Last night she slept through the night in HER bed (the double bed, not the crib) for the first time in weeks. I'm so proud! I feel like I did when she first slept through the night after she was born. What can I say, My baby girl is growing up whether I like it or not...